Hello, all!

Today, I woke up to puffy gray clouds and a nice light drizzle tapping along my window pane. The skies were swollen with rain and choked with fog-- reminding me of a bruised and beaten battle between the seasons. For the South Bay, this weather isn't fairly too uncommon now with the perpetually unpredictable shift in climate. Though it's summer, it certainly feels a little bit like spring with the sometimes humid and chilly early afternoons. I'm not complaining, though! I really enjoyed walking to school today to pick up my cap + gown for graduation. Despite having officially ended my senior year yesterday, it still feels like I'm supposed to be in classes right now. Silly, isn't it?



I think it's a little surreal to be finally out of high school. Four years of waking up at 6:00 am only to call it quits at 12:00 am have come to an end. I wasn't terribly off-put by this change as I'd only been at my current school for two years-- but it's always bittersweet to part ways with some of the close friends I've made during the hectic AP studying sessions and the emphatically enthusiastic class rallies. Though my high school experience was mostly a time of trial-and-error experiments, I think I have definitely grown as a person from it. Spiritually and emotionally, I've found who I truly am at the core-- and it only took me to peel away the layers of superficiality and insecurity I've been trained to have in order to understand that.

I am so blessed to have met such amazing people in my life. From strengthening my sisterhood with Jasmine to developing a deep and lasting bond with Jessy-- I have learned that sometimes your best friends don't have to be the ones who you see every day. If anything, they are the ones you can rely on to be there despite the distance and the inconvenience of our schedules. These four years have truly been trying on both of these relationships but I am so proud to say that we have come out of them stronger than before. I can't imagine a life without these influential people in my life so thank you so much for putting up with my early morning Facetime calls and my frantic texts.

Among the friends that I've made throughout high school, I can't forget about my West High confidantes. Those years as a Warrior were extremely stressful and painful-- but without my friends: Sarah, Christine, Soojin, Angelina, and Adela, I would not have been as happy as I am today. Despite all the hardships I've faced, you all accepted me as I am and made me proud to come out a survivor of these ridiculous fights. I know that we have not kept in touch these past two years but I always have you in my heart and I will keep you in my thoughts for the rest of my life. I wish you nothing but the best in your future endeavors! Who knows, maybe one day we will meet again! And when we do-- I hope we are the best versions of ourselves that we can be.

Also, thank you Munich, Crystal, Esther, and Cynthia for showing me that transitioning to my new school wouldn't be as difficult as I'd envisioned. The first few weeks of school were heartbreaking because I felt so out of place... but you guys kindly took me in and made me feel welcomed. I am beyond words as to how much you have done for me without realizing it. The emotional counseling you all provided me got me through all the dark and spotty parts of my life. You all gave me the strength to pursue greater things and to become more social in this new school. I am going to miss spending my lunchtime telling you stupid stories about myself or listening to the new developments in either of your guys' life. Thanks for not making things weird! I love you guys!


When I left classes yesterday for the last time... I didn't expect to be sad at all. It wasn't until that I was leaving my sixth period (art) that I was struck with a sudden and heavy sense of nostalgia. All day yesterday, I kept repeating to myself that "this would be the last time I walk down these stairs..." or "the last time I'll exit Mrs. Gonzales class...". I think I forgot how much I would miss going through the motion of high school. Though I absolutely hated the stress and drama of it all-- I will always remember enjoying the little and sudden bursts of laughter in class, the annoyance of having to listen to someone ask a question that the teacher had just answered, or even getting knocked around in the halls by busy bodies.

I understand now why people say that high school was the golden years of your life. It was a time or true young bliss and ignorance. We haven't been exposed to the adult elements of life yet-- and the naivete of not having to pay student loans, accrue debt, start a credit score, or etc is priceless. If I ever reminisce about my childhood, I will always remember the hurt and sadness I carried in the folds of my skin-- but I will also think of all the times I spent with my friends. Though small and seemingly meaningless, it is the tiny details of peace and serenity that will last forever. But don't we all look back at life through rose colored lens anyway?

Truthfully speaking, I'm heavy-hearted about the end of my high school experience... but I have to keep my head up! The next chapter of my life is just beginning-- college! 

I have high hopes this summer. I want to start eating healthier, maintain an active lifestyle (doesn't this sound like something an old person would say?), and develop better studying habits. I ended up almost getting straight A's this year-- though I always had that one lone 'B' lingering about. Next year, I really want to focus on acing each exam so that I'll be a likely candidate for UCLA. There are so many things I also want to do such as seeing live shows in downtown LA or bicycling to the beach. I will probably make another post over the weekend detailing my plans over the summer. :)

Before I go, I have to also share some really interesting sounds that I've been listening to now that school is over. Upon recommendation from Jane, I've started investigating the music of Mac Demarco, The Growlers, and the Orwells. I'm really liking their sound-- which is a little bit experimental and groovy. I included my favorite Growlers song up above in the post. It's called Humdrum Blues! Another few artists I've been vibing with lately are Clazziquai Project and Urban Zakapa. I've always had an affinity for k-indie and k-jazz, and these two blend the genres into a perfect combination.

I'd recommend listening to Clazziquai's "Call Me Back" ( x ) and Urban Zakapa's album "UZ" ( x ). They're both very smooth and perfect to put on while working. It's what I've been listening to on repeat while typing up this post! I hope you enjoy these songs!

Labels: sleepy